Chicago – Big Steaks & Big Beans!
Thie Blog was written on Wednesday night when on the plane home. I’m sorry if it sounds a little grouchy, you’ll see why…
Ax
We are now 37,000 feet high just north of the Gulf of St Lawrence, Canada. I really should be asleep now but the kind couple behind me have decided to bring what Clarkson describes as, ‘A huge lung coated in a veneer of skin.’ I am allergic to the sound of a crying child and have no idea why people think it’s a good idea to bring one on a seven hour flight. Is it honestly reasonable to force the sound of hell upon hundreds of people? Please please please, when it comes to long haul flights, wait until your kids have some grasp of reason.
Moan over.
I left you having spent our first night in Chicago, Karen & I being the ones to turn in on Sunday night. We had left the others in an Irish Bar on Division Street and true to form they had made the most of it drinking the bar out of Bombay Sapphire; this didn’t affect their performance the following day however…
We were in Chicago without a plan, we knew it as a city of Irish Bars and Jazz Clubs but little else so the plans for the daytime were left fairly loose; after five nights in Sin City were were hardly up for getting up and on it. Foe came up with the idea that we should look for snowboarding equipment whilst we were out here but with the Pound nearly as worthless as the dollar these days it wasn’t something that was not to be missed. That being said, Chicago was unfeasibly cold (even the locals were complaining) and a number of our party were in need of hats, scarves and mittens so we took a walk down the Miracle Mile and did the necessary. When we got to the top we came across the Hancock Centre and Paulie remembered that the stewardess on our Vegas flight recommended that this was a better option than the Sears Tower for getting a view of the city. We got some great photos and a lesson on Chicago by their very own Ross from Friends, who is a Cubs fan. Without knowing anything about Chicago or what to do, this commentary gave us some tips but by now it was approaching snooze o’clock and we wanted to head back for an hour’s kip because we all knew what lay ahead for the evening.
We met in the lobby at 7.00pm for a gin and got to the phenomenal Smith & Wallansky’s in time for our reservation at 8.00pm. We had been recommended this steak house by a fellow who has had a steak or two, my dad, who puts the prime rib as the best thing he’s scoffed. We were eager to put Keen’s Chop House of New York to the test. Opinion is divided but I can say with certainty that my ribeye on the bone was the best steak I have ever had. We all ordered dessert but did not expect the portions to be bigger than even Stuart’s head, we tried our best to munch our way through carrot cakes and chocolate cakes big enough to feed a small African country and eventually gave up and handed the leftovers to a tramp on our way to see some Chicago jazz.
We had been recommended Andy’s Jazz Club and found a table, I think we all knew that jazz is not our cup of tea but if ever you’re going to visit a jazz club, it will be in Chicago. We saw the end of the first set and the head dude in the band tried to get us harmonising with some Swedes but I’m guessing unless it’s Roxette they’re not interested.
We tried jazz and decided it was time to move on. Where else to rescue the evening than the Chicago branch of Howl at the Moon? It was laid out identical to it’s Orlando brother and was just as entertaining. We got just as drunk. Hazy memories follow but we did get ushered out at closing time towards another Irish bar but I really couldn’t’ tell you much about it. what I do know is that at midday Tuesday we were all slumped in a busy diner full of lunching (beering) construction workers and we were feeling like death. We took a stroll along Lake Michigan where it was even colder then the day before and back towards downtown. I am now officially a fan of the Great Lakes. I’m always in awe of what nature can produce (with the exception of Damien behind me) and to stand on the shore of a lake that’s bigger than Wales is something that amazes me.
Anyway, it’s time to talk about Chicago a bit rather than just write about how drunk we got and which Irish bar we did it in. Chicago is one of America’s best kept secrets. When we booked this trip many people asked me why we were going to Chicago with a screwed up look on their face but the few who had been before tilted their head, grinned and said “You’ll love Chicago.”
We have news in the UK which makes us hate America; they’re fat, rude, think they own the world and it’s their fault the rest of the world hates us. What do we have to show us this? All films are set in New York and all Brits with lungs holiday in Orlando. I’ve been to Nevada, California and Hawaii and now Illinois. I can’t wait to go back to any of these states but you will not find me in New York or Orlando again (until I’m getting hassled to take a child on a long haul flight to Disney).
Don’t get me wrong, if you have never been to New York and have never seen Times Square at night, never stood at the top of the Empire State Building or never had a prime rib at Keen’s then I heartily recommend it, just don’t make the mistake of going again or you start to find faults with the place. You begin to see that New York is a city that is in an awful hurry and is full of extremely pompous twats who think they rule the world, the rest of America does not.
New York is a great place but instead of going there a second time there’s all sorts of places in Eastern America well worth a visit. Chicago is well up on my list of recommended places and I can direct you to the best steak you will ever have and the better Italian in a better ‘Liddle Idaly’ than New York can offer. You can skate outdoors in the winter and they have big shiny bean that I am deliberately under-describing as it is far more stunning than I could give credit for ( For you Wikipedia fans).
If people made less films about New York and more about Chicago the world would be at peace. I’m sure that the 11 September attacks were orchestrated on the back of Bin Laden seeing Ghostbusters 2 and thought that the idea of the scum of New York being responsible for the near-end of the world was a little close to the bone. I want to go back to Chicago but not before I’ve given the rest of Eastern America a chance, probably en route back from Vegas. Off the top of my head we have, Boston, Philly, New Orleans & Atlantic City. So, from me, when you come across an American you hate, whether it’s in person, in film or on the news – ask if they’re from Florida or New York.
I’m going to leave it there because I’m clearly getting tired and cranky. I will try and get some sleep even though the parents of the Lung have decided to pacify it by lending it two plastic bottles to play with.
Andy
Chicago 2016
xxx
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Great blog, Andy !