Dry April
In March Stuoobs & I said that the beginning of March marked the beginning of the holy festival of Ramadam (Really Alcoholic March, April Dry, Alcoholic May). This was largely due to the fact that we are signed up to the Manchester 10k on 18 May and after the binge-fest that March turned out to be we were determined to have a month off the grog in order to get our bodies in some sort of shape. As it turned out April has probably been the most dirty month of the year.
It started out with a situation that was beyond my control, Corporal Duncan Forbes was shipped back off to Kabul for his all expenses adventure holiday so we had to have a leaving do on the first Saturday in April which got predictably messy.
Next on the list was the weekend of the United v Arsenal game for which we had a visit from some of the Northern clan and the old man sorted us out with seats in the posh bit which, of course, involved 2 solid days on it and some very high class vomiting from Pezza.
We were fortunate to have the following weekend ‘off’ however this was marred by further family visits from a couple of Susan’s kids. I only realised that one of the little darlings had pissed on the floor once I stepped on it. I suggested rubbing his nose in it and forcing him to piss on the balcony but Karen wasn’t so supportive.
Another turn of events this month has been the return of Tiger Woods ASDA Tuesdays; our old tradition of playing football on a Tuesday, going to ASDA for some heart stopping tea and then playing Tiger Woods on the PS2 however we have substituted the Tiger Woods and the ASDA for wine. It’s all to make sure we get the best of Mark Fody Foden before he emigrates to the States at the end of May. As the last few Tuesdays have involved European football we’ve renamed them ‘Champions Tuesdays’. Foe really enjoys getting up for work on Wednesdays.
One fun Tuesday was the night of the Liverpool v Chelsea game, remember the John Arne Riise game? this was fun because Stuoobs and I knew we’d have to be up at 6am to get to the airport ready for the Barcelona away game. This was another cracker, battered by the time we got to Gerona airport and we were quite looking forward to an uneventful 90 minute coach journey to the city. This plan was scuppered by the nice couple with their kids who managed to get hold of a couple of bottles of Russia’s finest. One of their kids had an exam back in the UK the following day – such irresponsible parenting(?).
As it turned out, the only uneventful 90 minutes was on the pitch. It was a dour game that finished 0-0. We missed a penalty and Barca had the better of the play, so we came home relatively happy. We decided against taking the plane home and opted instead for a return to the HQ from my Stag do last year – the Australian Bar on the Puerto Olimpico for some festivities. How fortunate we were that the bar manager recognised us from last year and heaped a load of free shots on us. Needless to say it ended late and messy. I’ve also got this beauty of a video of some United fans (sorry Stuoobs):
Note the Lee Sharpe air guitaring!!
So, with one weekend left in Dry April we decided to get on the gin and watch the Chelsea v United game as a United win would have sealed the title. It wasn’t to be so we had to carry on Ginning and headed to Dimitri’s in Manchester for some tapas and lager.
Thank God therefore that the following weekend was in May and Foe’s stag do didn’t seem so immoral. Honest. There were 13 of us that SleazyJetted to Krakow on the Thursday and got right on with it. The first night was a bit hit and miss, we struggled to find the holy grail of the Stag Do – the neon Shamrock sign. We did find a fun music bar with live bands on and a bewildered audience as we stood in front of the stage doing our stuff before getting marched off the premises because our Stag passed out on the bar.
Day two saw the arrival of what became known as the ‘Seniors Tour’ consisting of the elder members of Foe’s family and friends. By this time we had found HQ in the form of ‘The Irish Mbassy’, a three floored juggernaut of a bar with numerous TV screens and pretty barmaids, we did quite well in there until our new best friend, John Hennessey decided to get completely ruined – it was as if he’d been researching on ways to become the biggest liability, easily taking the mantel from Liability Kev who, by the way, is now ‘Captain Kevin’.
The weekend continued in that way, only three of the party got fined by the coppers for street indiscretions. Intriguingly one got fined PL100 for pissing on a church whilst another got twice the fine for a street corner. Doesn’t seem fair.
The running training is going well, not quite as well as I’d hoped but the prospects of doing the 10k are promising. I’ve found a cracking run down the ship canal and am about to head off for another jog in the Manchester Sunschiiiyyynnneeee.
5k Canal
Find more Runs in Salford, United Kingdom
That sort of brings us up to date. I’ve kept it brief as to do everything justice would result in one of my famous boring posts. I will try and be a bit more regular with the updates and I promise to update you very soon after a certain trip to Moscow we have coming up!
L&H
Andy
xxx
