Killing Time
Things going a bit slower over the last couple of days. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough now as there is nothing to do at work. We are reduced to reading the papers and celebrity gossip magazines.
There was an interesting article in Closer magazine about a chap who performed his own castration. The article’s about his wife who just thought he was going through a mid-life crisis; I’ll say!!! She said afterwards he wasn’t the man she married. Well love, that’s because he wanted a sex change and demanded you stop calling him ‘Howard’ as he now wished to be called ‘Holli’. It’s not all doom and gloom though, the fact he could still get a stiffy was “a massive ego boost” for her.
One thing about this story really intrigued me.
“Howard has taken the sharpest knife in the kitchen, gone into the downstairs toilet and chopped off his testicles – he’d researched how to do it on the internet.”
When I first heard this my very first port of call was Google (.com as I think .co.uk just wouldn’t be as detailed). I googled “Self castration” and sure enough the results came in. very painful reading:
http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/M/ea_181618my_self_.htm
To wrap the story up, his wife still loves him but refuses to be his ‘lesbien lover’ and in case you’re wondering where the ‘goods’ ended up – he threw them in the bin. I would definately keep them as a keepsake in a jar to show the grandkids.
The rest of the celebrity gossip mags tend to concentrate on Britney’s weight problems. I don’t care what anybody says – you still would.
As for anything else, well I got sent out to buy The Lawyer magazine yesterday – not nearly as interesting as Closer – but only managed to come back with The Times and two Nursery Magazines. I felt like a proper peado buying magazines with children on the cover so I had to get The Times as a decoy (we all know that peados read The Guardian).
Had an unexpected visit from The Don last night and he forced me to drink vodka until 12.30am this morning, pleasant company it was as the football was a bit dull. The cricket was fun though, if you’re Indian.
I’m off now to find a knife, a downstairs toilet and a bin.
